Fairygodmuma's Blog

Sprinkle some magic in your life…

How to be grateful for every situation

Someone very close to me once said, “You’re always saying thankyou! You say it too much!”

My response, “You can never be too thankful.”

Being grateful is one of lifes greatest and most powerful acts of magic. Not only does it make you feel good to say thanks, but it makes the source of your gratitude happy too. And to top it all off, when you give thanks, the universe responds by sending you lots more situations or objects to be grateful for. It is a guaranteed way to fast track the things you want into your lives, and feels fantastic at the same time!

When people complain: “It’s too early, it’s too late, too hot, too cold, too expensive, too far, such a hassle, so boring or Im tired, I’m so fed up, I’m hungry…” they are focusing on the negative. As I’ve already mentioned in previous posts, by focusing and putting our energy into something, we are telling the Universe that we want more of it. When someone complains, they are therefore attracting more experiences into their life to complain about!

I bet there are a few wide eyes staring at this screen right now wondering “how on Earth can I find the positive in being stuck in traffic because of roadworks?” or “how can I be grateful that its raining again for the third day in a row?” or “what is there to be thankful for when I am bedridden with a rotten cold”

Well, my dears, you must…

Develop an attitude of gratitude!

How about giving thanks for just having a car or means of transport to get to your destination, as well as thanking the hard workers fixing the road under dangerous conditions to ensure we are safe on our journey? How about being grateful for the abundant crops that will be grown and the water sources that will be replenished by the rain, providing us with a constant fresh water supply? (Not to mention how much fun there is to be had splashing in muddy puddles!) Try being grateful that you only have a cold which is curable and will pass in a few days, and be thankful for all other parts of your body that are healthy and well: your heart, lungs, legs, arms, eyes, ears and brain… Be grateful to be alive.

It is completely possible to be thankful under all circumstances.

Whilst studying gratitude in my journey to becoming Fairy GodMuma, I was asked by my tutor to keep a gratitude journal for two weeks, finding all the positive things to be thankful for. During this time I was pregnant and was hospitalised with complications. However, I remained thankful throughout. Grateful for the nurses and doctors working all hours to look after me, grateful for access to necessary medication and medical equipment to monitor my baby and I, grateful to my body for alerting me to the fact something was not right and for working perfectly to fix the problem, grateful to my family for visiting me in hospital and showering me with hope and love, but most of all, grateful for the beautiful miracle of being able to carry our healthy, much loved baby. Even my tutor was stunned at how positive and grateful I remained in such circumstances where most people would have complained until the cows came home! But by looking at the big picture, I was able to see how truly blessed I was and I believe this gratitude helped aid a speedy recovery for both my baby and I.

No matter who we are or what our situation is, there is ALWAYS something to be grateful for.

We all have so much to be grateful for in our lives. Shelter or a roof over our head, a bed to sleep in, clothes to keep us warm, shoes to keep our feet dry, television, telephones, computers with access to the internet, food and appliances to cook the food with, fresh running water, sunshine, rain, the moon to light the way for us at night, access to hospitals and medical treatment, wages or benefits that enable us to afford our blessings, our children, family and friends who we love and who love us, cars or public transport to get us from A-B, legs to walk with, eyes to see, ears to hear, hands to touch and pick up and hug, a voice to speak out or tell someone we love them or laugh, air to breathe… being alive. The list is endless!

So today, poppets, when you feel the starts of a complaint bubbling inside you, I want you to look around at all the positives instead, count your blessings and give heartfelt thanks for them.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, or more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” – Melody Beattie

Thank you for reading…

Love and blessings,

Fairy GodMuma xxx

 

happiness within

Find your happiness WITHIN

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10 ways to enjoy life again

Wasn’t life wonderful when we were children? Every day was a new adventure and we had little or no care in the World.

So when did our space rocket become a bed solely for sleeping in? When did our hot air balloon become purely the washing basket? When did our cool drum kit become pots and pans for cooking with, not playing with! When did we start taking life so seriously??

I was always one of lifes daydreamers, spending many hours of school gazing out of the window thinking about how amazing it would be to fly, making up a dance routine in my head to my favourite song or thinking about the new boy in our class! I had amazing dreams of being a world class singer and actor and author of children’s poetry books. I would often have visions or vivid dreams at night time that would sometimes come true. However, my elders surpressed these incredible gifts by calling them “weird” or it was seen as a bad thing to be a “daydreamer” and that I should “concentrate more”. I was told my dreams were “wishful thinking” and that I should work towards more realistic goals. Little did they know how damaging this was because as the years went by, and the more I surpressed these wonderful childlike qualities to fit in with their ideals, the more boring and deflating life became.

It is only now I have two beautiful children of my own that I see what I and so many of us have been missing out on!

My son wakes every morning and bounces out of bed, brimming with excitement for the day ahead. He can turn the most mundane of objects into a fun play thing and he finds the positive in every situation. His innocent, inquisitive appreciation of life is inspiring. He, like most children, are a perfect example of how we should live our lives, yet more often than not, we surpress these amazing qualities and they end up later on in their lives longing to get them back again.

So how can we revisit and retain our youth and the magic it exuberated? Here’s how I did…

  1. When you wake up – imagine you are 6 years old and you have just woken up on your birthday. Feel the excitement, embrace the joy you feel for being alive and for all the gifts the day will bring. Jump out of bed with the knowing that this is quite possibly the best day of your life. Hold onto that  feeling as best you can and revisit it throughout the day. Happy Birthday!
  2. Imagine – let your mind be as creative as possible and where suitable to do so – daydream! There is nothing wrong in envisioning or playing out the life of your dreams. When we do so, we are allowing our thoughts to become things, and you may find you are more creative and productive as a result.
  3. Play – Have fun! Roll around on the floor,  put music on and dance, play sport, or pretend you are a pirate or a princess if need be. Whatever you do – just have fun. If you have children, you have an added advantage as there are no better teachers of how to play in this World, than children. Set aside time to do what makes you happy and during that time make a conscious effort to not think about chores or external stresses. Since when have you known a child to not be able to play because they are worried about their room being untidy?
  4. Get Outside! – Come rain or shine, open your doors and get some fresh air. Take your shoes off (if you are able) and connect with nature. Feel the grass beneath your toes and the soil tickle your soles. Run, walk or just sit and breath in the fresh air. If it is raining, get on your wellies and jump in the puddles. Don’t think twice about mess or getting wet – just do it. I promise you, its exhilarating.
  5. Build a Den – Make yourself a space just for you. It could be as simple as a corner in a room with a chair, or a room or shed. You may even decide to make a teepee or drape blankets over a table! Whatever you choose, this should be a safe haven or place for you to retreat, relax and unwind and feel comfortable to do the things you love.
  6. Read a children’s book – Put down your newspapers, essays and social media for just 10 minutes, and immerse yourself in the World of a children’s book. Put yourself in the shoes of the characters and sing the words. Allow yourself to get lost completely in the story.
  7. Watch a children’s TV show or film – As above, turn off the news, which is sadly more often than not, filled with stories of war, suffering, natural disasters or crimes. Instead switch over to a children’s channel or put on one of your favourite childhood films.
  8. Laugh – think of the funniest thing you can and just laugh. Go on! Laughing is one of the most exhilarating actions one can perform. It releases endorphins, relaxes our body and is one of life’s miraculous natural medicines. It is also infectious! Remember when you were young, and an adult told you to stop laughing, it was often near on impossible to stop. And before you knew it, your brother or sister or friends around you started chuckling and giggling too. Laughing frees you from your worries and woes and puts you in a state of euphoric childlike bliss. Treat yourself!
  9. Open your eyes – Look around you. What do you see? What do you really see? As adults we regularly become conditioned to see life through tunnel vision. Only seeing what is in front of us, and not recognising the true beauty and miracles before us. Children see so much more. They are excited by leaves on the floor, a newly sprung flower through a crack in the pavement,  a caterpillar crawling along a wall, a castle in the clouds, the dinner on their plate making a smiley face and the beauty of a sunset causing the sky to appear on fire. All of these beautiful things we too often, take for granted. Open your eyes and begin to appreciate everything, big or small, around you.
  10. Hug – A hug is love. Love in physical form being wrapped around you. Whether you give it – or receive it, it should fill you with nothing more than satisfaction, safety, security and pure bliss. Children love hugs, and if you admit it or not, adults do too. Hug those you love and breathe in the euphoria it provides you, and the person lucky enough to be hugged by you.

I used to hurry my son along when he would stop en route somewhere. My goal was getting to our destination as quickly as possible. “We haven’t got all day!” What I failed to realise was how our journey there was in fact a valuable part of the whole trip, if not the most exciting! I now stop with him and we smell the flowers together, pick leaves to make a pictures with and identify creepy crawlies we might come across. We adults are often so obsessed with the end result or destination, that we fail to enjoy the journey. We are often so engrossed in raising our kids to be well balanced, well mannered, successful adults, that we fail to let them fully enjoy their childhood. I now walk slowly, breathe in the fresh air and look around with childlike excitement at the beauty and wonder that surrounds us. So much of this we so often take for granted and I am so grateful to my children for re-igniting my lust for life!

We can learn so much from our little angels. Children are, in my eyes, the biggest and best gift life can give us, and so it is up to us as parents and elders, to give them the gift of a confident, positive, fulfilled life. Next time your child is daydreaming, instead of telling them to “snap out of it”, ask them what they are daydreaming about… and daydream with them. When your child tells you they want to be an astronaut or a rock star, instead of telling them it is unrealistic, encourage them to reach for their dreams, as anything is acheivable if you set your mind to it.

Most importantly, find and release your inner child and start to enjoy life again. When you wake up tomorrow, imagine you are 6 years old again and have just woken up on your birthday! Really feel the excitement, the anticipation and the overwhelming joy at how much fun you are going to have and all the wonderful surprises you are going to receive. I guarantee you will have a fantastic day!

As Mother Theresa once said, “When we learn to see life through the eyes of a child, that is when we become truly wise”.

Love and blessings,

Fairy GodMuma xxx

 

Live for Now!

Live life through the eyes of a child

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The Measure of Success

  
What is success? And how do we measure it?

My son longs to become a pilot, and often asks me if I would prefer him to be famous or become a pilot when he is older.

I once believed that fame equaled success. The more well known and loved you were, the more successful you were. Then I saw one of my favourite stars battling drug addiction, going off the rails and struggling to maintain the little privacy they had. I realised that sometimes all that glitters is not gold.

I then believed that the more money you earned, the bigger house you lived in and amount of possessions you owned reflected your level of success. I pushed my so-called “unrealistic” dreams aside and ploughed head first into a career; working long unsociable hours, but that paid well and offered stability. Although never truly satisfied, it seemed like the done thing to do. Until I had children, that is.

I then realised that the long hours working which provided me and my family all these material measures of supposed success, deprived me of what really mattered and what was most important to me.

Time. Time to enjoy my children and be present for each special moment of them growing. Time to nurture them and ensure they grow into well rounded and happy adults. Time to spend with my husband and constantly remind ourselves of why it was we first fell in love. Time to focus on my passions and dreams which I had suppressed for so long. Time for me to just be. Time to live.

“What’s money? A man is a success if he gets up in the morning and goes to bed at night and in between does what he wants to do” – Bob Dylan

 

I often spoke about my desire to “work part time and live full time”. Sadly up until then, it had been a pipe dream and the reverse was the reality. Yet I did not want to retire old and exhausted, wondering what I had done with my life and regretting not spending more quality time with my children in the most important stages of their life.

Luckily my husband had the same ideas and desires as me. And luckily our hard work up until that point did pay off, as we were financially comfortable in temporarily leaving our careers in the UK and moving to a very rural area of France with our two young boys. We may not have as much money or as many material possessions or luxuries, but we now feel we have SO much more. We have the quality time together we all so desired, and which you truly can not put a price on.

“The starting point of all achievement is desire” – Napoleon Hill

 

I see unhappy friends still slaving away in jobs they hate, but which provide them the financial freedom to buy big houses, flash cars and all the latest gadgets. Yet sadly they moan constantly because they do not have any free time to enjoy these acquisitions. On the other hand I know people with very little money or possessions, but plenty of time, longing for fame, mansions or sports cars to fill their void. Believing that this equals success.

As I have said before and I will say again, take away all of those material items and what is left? If you base your life and all you do around what makes you happy, everything else is just luxury or a bonus rather than necessity. To me, that is success.

“Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful” – Albert Schweitzer

 

Although our move was a big risk and was originally a temporary move, we now wish to make it permanent. It may mean downsizing and missing out on annual holidays abroad or life’s little “luxuries”. It may mean I have to work part time in a supermarket stacking shelves, or cleaning other peoples houses for pocket money. But I don’t mind, because we are basing our lives around what makes us happy and in return we have something that makes us truly happy and which money can not buy: Time.

 

I truly believe that the meaning of success is a personal thing and differs from person to person. Whether that be becoming the best at a sport you love, having a thriving career in a job you adore, learning 5 languages fluently, building your dream house in the woods, emmigrating abroad or simply being the best parent you can be.

The driving core beneath true success is surely “happiness” or “doing what makes you happy”?

 

I also believe success is about having a good balance between work life and home life. Even if you are not necessarily fulfilled in your job, if you can balance it equally with the things that mean the most to you: family, friends, following your dreams and passions and making time for yourself, then surely you are making a success of your life?

“Success is simple. Do what’s right, the right way, at the right time” – Arnold H Glasow

So are you a success???

Ask yourself the following questions and take the time to think carefully about the answers?

  • Are you pursuing your dreams / desires
  • Are you staying true to your values or what is most important to you
  • Are you making time for what makes you happy

If the answer is yes, then pat yourself on the back and keep doing what you are doing. If the answer is no, then perhaps you need to work harder to ensure you move towards and make time for what makes you feel most fulfilled and happy.

 

“I never want to go back to our old life. I prefer it now because I get to spend more time with you and Daddy.” These were the exact words of my eldest son just recently when asked how he felt about us returning to the UK, and both my husband and I returning to our old careers.

These words resonate with me daily. They also remind me of what is important to me and my family. And what makes us all happy.

No matter what challenges life throws at you. No matter what you have now or where you have come from. If you stay true to yourself and your core values, and strive to surround yourself as much as possible with the things that make you happy, you are a success.

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So now when my son comes to me and says “Mummy, would you prefer me to be famous or be a pilot when I am older”, I am able to say, “Whatever you become, as long as you are happy, you will be a success”.

 

Love and blessings,

Fairy GodMuma xxx

 

 

 

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There’s no time like the Present…

“What day is it?”
It’s today,” squeaked Piglet.
My favorite day,” said Pooh.”
A.A. Milne

This is one of my favourite quotes & I repeat it often. It makes me feel all childlike and bubbly inside. And you know what, Pooh had a good point!!

We spend so much of our life worrying about and living for things in the future, or regurgitating and regretting things in our past, that we forget to truly live and wholeheartedly enjoy the only time that really matters.

NOW.

“The past is gone. The future is not guaranteed.” – Michael Hyatt

The past is the past. We can’t change what has happened. We can change our attitude or perception of it, so rather than wallowing in how awful a particular experience was, we could try to see all the good that has come as a result of it. How much stronger it has made you. What lessons you have learnt from it. But then we should leave it where it is. In the past. It does not serve us to ponder relentlessly over what has been.

“We’re so busy watching out for what’s just ahead of us that we don’t take time to enjoy where we are.” Bill Watterson

We’ve all been guilty of spending time worrying about future events, but worrying will only make you feel lousy and will not help by any means to resolve or better a future outcome. It will only affect how you think and feel now in a negative way. Worrying can be a dangerous habit, and can quickly spiral out of control leading to more negative thinking. As our thoughts become things, the more we worry about worse possible outcomes, the more likely we are to attract those into our lives. Or perhaps you frequently tell yourself, “I will be happy when this happens…” or “I will feel fulfilled when I have this” or “I’ll be much calmer once this is all over”… but again, you are focusing on and pinning all your successes on a future event or object. And what if tomorrow never comes…

“Life is a journey, not a destination.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Why can’t we just love, be happy, fulfilled and at peace with all we have and all we are… NOW.

Just stop whatever you are doing (yes, even reading my captivating blog!!!!)

Take a deep breath in and feel the fresh air filling up your lungs. As you breathe out, imagine you are blowing all your concerns, regrets and fears away and keep doing this until you feel a sense of calm inside of you.

Whilst still breathing in and out deeply, look around you and give heartfelt thanks for all that is great in your life at this very moment. A roof over your head, the clothes you wear, the chair, cushion or bed you are sitting on, the computer you are reading this on, the comforts and luxuries surrounding you, the people you love and the people that love you, your family, your wealth, your health, your life…. The list is endless.

“The only way to survive eternity is to be able to appreciate each moment.” ― Lauren Kate, Fallen

If a worry, concern or regret enters your mind, acknowledge it and then send it on its way. I like to imagine my niggles and negative thoughts as birds that fly through my mind and sometimes perch on my conscience. I acknowledge them, and sometimes even thank them, before gently ushering them to fly away. This takes practice! Especially if you have a whole aviary in your mind as I once had.

You can do this whenever you find your mind wandering off into the distance, or trailing behind you.

But when your mind is clear, you will be able to focus on everything as it is.

And this moment right now is a blessing. Own it. Feel it. Love it.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” Bil Keane

So Pooh did have a good point. Every day should be your favourite day, because every second of every minute of every day is a gift. A blessing.

A present.

Love and blessings,

Fairy GodMuma xxx

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There is not time like the present

There is not time like the present

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Where there is dark… there is light

“Stars can’t shine without darkness”

This is somewhat of a controversial conversation and one that most find difficult to comprehend, but one which I have strong views on that I’d like to share with you lovely lot.

It’s the concept that good can be found in every heartache, tragedy, disaster or crisis. That light can be found in even the darkest of situations.

This is where most people turn their noses up and look at me like I have three heads. But I truly believe it.

As part of my qualification to become a life coach, I had to keep a journal for two weeks of all the positive things that happened to me. During this time, I was pregnant, developed a condition which could harm myself and my baby, was hospitalised, unable to keep any food down and went into very early premature labour. It was a scary time for all involved. However, I was able to look at the whole situation and find the positives.

I had been overdoing it at work despite having a high risk pregnancy, and had lost sight of how important it was to take it easy and put my baby and myself first. This scare left me signed off for the rest of my pregnancy, which gave me the rest I needed to focus on keeping myself and my baby healthy. Prior to this occurence, I had not been eating healthily and had been completely over eating, however this forced me to eat healthier and in smaller quantities. I was so overwhelmed with the care and hard work of the nurses and medical practitioners who looked after my baby and I. I felt utterly blessed to be fortunate enough to have access to free medical healthcare and medication necessary. I got weighted on hand and foot and felt so looked after.

What could have been a miserable, negative and disheartening experience was the complete opposite. Don’t get me wrong, there were still anxieties, but I made the conscious choice to focus on the good, rather than the bad. My diary of positive experiences was fuller than ever on the days I was in hospital.

This is just one basic example of where light can be found in a dark situation.

However, I have come across people who have been diagnosed with terminal illnesses or have lost someone they love. How on Earth could you possibly find the positive in their situations…?

I could.

Everything that happens to us holds a blessing of acceptance, happiness, self awareness, lessons, inspiration, appreciation, understanding, peace, love.

When someone dies, we can focus on the fact they are no longer in our life, or we can focus on all the joy they bought us, the lessons they taught us and how we are going to honour their name and keep them alive in our hearts and minds. When faced with illness, focus on the parts of you that are healthy and well, and the fact that you are alive, here and now. If the illness is terminal, find gratitude for the reminder that time is precious and should be lived to the maximum.

Ultimately, we will all die. You could get taken out by a bus tomorrow, pass away following a sustained illness or die in your sleep at a grand old age. But one thing is certain, our bodies will die. You can spend your life fretting about how or when you may die, or you can live each day of your life with passion and gratitude for the opportunities they bring. A large percentage of us spend our lives existing, rather than living and it takes a tragedy to occur for us to realise this and make positive change. Why can we not live each day like it were our last without these tragedies? When someone is dying or dies, although it may not be apparent at the time, there is untold amounts of positivity to be taken from their passing. Starting with how blessed you were to have shared their life with them and for all they have taught you about your life.

This is not to say we wont feel grief or heartache. We are human and it is important to welcome, acknowledge and express emotions. However, it is your choice as to whether you allow yourself to dwell in the darkness of negative emotions, or whether you choose to move forward and into the light.

For the next two weeks, keep a diary of everything that happens to you. For every negative experience, find some positive outcomes too. I guarantee you will be pleasantly surprised…

I will finish on one of my favourite sayings of all time from one of my favourite book/films:

“Happiness can be found even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light” – Albus Dumbledore

Love and blessings

Fairy GodMuma xxx

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